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Coping with Change in Marriage: Embracing Growth and Evolution as a Couple"

Updated: Feb 2

Hey everyone! It's week 2 in my blogging challenge, so let's dive into a personal topic I don't often talk about—my marriage. If you follow me on social media, you've seen my husband in posts featuring my family, but I rarely share the intricacies of our relationship. Truth is, I've held my husband and our marriage close, much like a hand in poker. What we've built is so important to me, but as we enter our 30s this year, I find myself reflecting on our journey and feeling secure enough to share it with all of you. One specific point I want to discuss is how we learned to support and show up for each other, from the early days and throughout our decade-long marriage.

You Want to do What?! Marriage?!

Let's start at the beginning. Patrick and I met right out of high school, hailing from different parts of the city. Despite our differences, we connected instantly. Patrick, at the age of 19, boldly declared he was going to marry me. I couldn't help but smile in disbelief, responding with, "You want to do what?! Boy, please, we are still kids!"

But Patrick was serious. I challenged him, expressing my reluctance to leave the comfort of my parents' house to struggle. He was working part-time, and I was in school and working part-time too. Realizing our current situation was unsustainable, I laid out the facts and challenged him to find a job to cover our expenses until I finished school. Patrick stepped up, got a job, a car, started saving, and at 20, we were engaged, planning a wedding for the following year. We often look back on those determined kids, a testament to our shared faith and our willingness to bet on each other. Our wedding was in 2015, and it's crazy to think it'll be 10 years next year; we haven't looked back with anything but fondness.

Remember me being in school?

After marriage, life got tough, and I ended up taking about 3 years off from school. Around year 3 of marriage, another lesson about my husband unfolded. He always saw something in me that I sometimes struggled to see in myself. He played a crucial role in my journey to becoming a nurse, and when the opportunity arose, I knew it was my turn to support his dream. Patrick worked extra to cover for me while I was in school, never complaining, and always saying, "Mya, if that's what you want to do, it's my job to support you."

Keeping The Same Energy Your Mate Shows You Is Hard

Fast forward to when I finished nursing school. Patrick had a hobby of a YouTube channel, expressing his love for sports. I thought it was just fun until I saw the passion in his eyes. I realized he loved it as much as he loved me and our faith. Determined to support him, we formulated a plan for him to pursue this as a career. Life threw us a curveball—a layoff and a newborn. Despite the challenges, we decided it was the right time for Patrick to pursue his dream. Those initial months were tough, relying on unemployment, but I felt the pressure and supported him by managing home and our baby girl. I reflected on the years he worked hard for me, making me more understanding and less inclined to fuss.

Hold On When You're Weathering a Storm

Our story isn't a millionaire origin tale, but with my support, Patrick landed a job at ESPN radio in Chicago. His YouTube channel is thriving, and I've been able to take a break from work for the last 6 months to be with our daughter. We're far from millionaires, but we're working-class, and with mutual support, we're making our dreams come true.

Many things could have pulled us apart during each phase of our marriage. Commitment to each other and allowing growth has been crucial. Who I wanted to be at 21 when we got married is not who I am at 29. The same applies to my husband. By working through our emotions and wholeheartedly supporting each other, we've weathered the storms and look forward to many more years together!

Did anyone else get married young? Comment and let us know if your journey was similar during the changes!

Much love and see you all in the next one!

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